Nobody Warned Me About the Silence

The Unspoken Transition from Full-Time Mom to... 

Something Else

They don’t tell you that the hardest part of parenting isn’t the toddler tantrums or the teenage moods—it’s the stillness that comes after. The silence that hums too loudly when the door doesn’t burst open at 3:45, when there are no band concerts to rush to, or softball uniforms to wash. When the kitchen hums with nothing but your own thoughts—and maybe, if you’re lucky, a little Aerosmith turned up loud enough to drown them out for a bit.

There’s no ceremony for this stage. No “You Did It!” banner fluttering over your head when your kids step into adulthood. Instead, there’s a quiet unraveling—a slow shift from being needed every day to wondering where you fit in now. 

I wish someone had warned me about the ache. The depression that sneaks in like fog after the storm, not because you want them to need you forever, but because you don’t know who you are without being needed. When your days aren’t wrapped around someone else’s schedule, you can lose your rhythm. It’s grief, in a way—mourning the role that once defined your every breath.

And then came the move. A new chapter, sure—but one written miles away from the people who once made the pages worth turning. The heartbreak of waving from a different state, pretending it's exciting when what you really feel is abandonment, loneliness, and the hollow ache of empty arms that once held everything that mattered.

But here’s the truth I hold onto like a lifeline: I may not be their anchor anymore—but I’m their lighthouse. I may not get the call every day—but I’ll always answer. And in this quieter season, I’m not fading—I’m evolving. The woman I was before motherhood never vanished. She’s still here, waiting at the edge of the dance floor, barefoot and wild-hearted, ready to crank up the music and reclaim her space.

Because as much as we raise our children, sometimes... we’re given the sacred chance to raise ourselves again, too.

🧭 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going

If this season of “what now?” feels familiar, I’d love to hear your heart.

• What part of parenting adult children has been the hardest for you?

• How have you learned to fill the quiet?

• What helps you feel seen again?

📊 Quick Poll: Where are you on this journey?

Choose the one that feels closest right now:

• 🍼 Still deep in the day-to-day of parenting

• 🧗 Navigating the shift—kids growing, roles changing

• 🌅 Just starting to rediscover myself

• 🎨 Fully embracing this next chapter (and dancing in the kitchen again)

• 👀 Just here to read, not ready to share yet

💬 Share your story in the comments—raw, real, or even rambling. This is a judgment-free front porch.

🪑 And if you’re not ready to speak yet, just type the answer that feels most like you today. 

Just know: someone else is sitting here too, rocking gently through it with you.

Brew a cup 🍵and join in the discussion with me. 

~ Honey 🍯

The House That Laughed

In the thick of our family’s busiest years, Josh and I were working full-time jobs—sometimes more. We weren’t poor, but we weren’t lounging in luxury either. Just a family doing our best to stay afloat, keep the fridge stocked, and the kids pointed in the right direction.

Between school band, baseball, softball, track, wrestling, and who-knows-what-else, our schedules looked like color-coded chaos. But we knew early on that if we didn’t carve out space for family time, we’d lose the very thing we were all working so hard to hold onto.

So we did. And we did it with heart—and on a budget.

🎲 Game Night or Bust

Friday or Saturday nights were sacred. Game night didn’t need much—just popcorn, a few good laughs, and the willingness to lose gracefully to your kids. We’d play *Apples to Apples*, *Pictionary*, *Jenga*, *Clue*, and classic card games (but never *Monopoly*—life's too short and tempers are too fragile).

As the kids got older, the games got a little edgier—*Cards Against Humanity*, *Hot Seat*, *Jackbox Games*, *The Things Game*. Sometimes even *Fortnite*, if we were feeling competitive and tech-savvy. That living room saw so much laughter—and maybe a few dramatic exits when someone lost (again).

🗣️ The Truth About Family Meetings

We held family meetings not because we were a well-oiled parenting machine, but because *communication matters*. News got shared. Feelings got aired. Sometimes it got loud. Sometimes quiet. But we always listened.

Our kids were taught to speak freely—without fear of punishment. No swearing, sure. But honesty? Always. We wanted our kids to know that their voices mattered, and that the only way through conflict is conversation.

 🚗 Papa Gino’s, Petting Zoos & a Whole Lot of Drive-Ins

Family outings didn’t come with airline tickets or fancy reservations. They came with a large soda cup we were all told to share (refills, naturally), and the slightly embarrassing honor of being known as “the hotdog family” at Papa Gino’s.

We hit local parks with petting zoos, picnic tables, and trails for tiny legs to conquer. We walked Thames Street in Newport and let the sea breeze do its magic. But the real crown jewel? The drive-in. Blankets, packed snacks, drowsy kids in the backseat. We wouldn’t get home until 1am—carrying sleeping kids to bed, our hearts just as full as our car.

💦 Water Fights & Nerf-Gun Diplomacy

Oh, the outdoor chaos. Water gun ambushes. Nerf-gun battles. No one was safe—not even the new kid one of our teens brought home. If they got pelted walking through the front door, they knew they were welcome.

Because in our house, fun was foundational. It kept us light, even when the days were heavy.

Family time doesn't have to cost anything—but it gives you everything.

Now our kids are passing down these same traditions—with drive-ins, game nights, and the kind of laughter that leaves footprints on your soul.

Ours was the house that laughed—and honestly, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I'd love to hear about your family time adventures so grab a cup ☕ and share your family time with me via email or in the comments section. ~Honey 🍯💛

Navigating the Toddler Years: Chaos, Cuddles, and Growth

Toddlers are tiny whirlwinds of emotion, curiosity, and fierce independence which means parenting them requires a mix of patience, strategy, and maybe a strong cup of tea (or wine, let’s be honest). 

From tantrums that rival Hollywood drama to the sheer joy of watching them discover the world, the toddler years are a wild ride. But with the right approach, you can turn even the toughest moments into teachable experiences that strengthen your bond.

Let’s dive in.

1. The Toddler Mindset: Little Brains in Overdrive

Between ages 1 and 3, toddlers are experiencing massive cognitive and emotional growth. They’re learning how to express themselves, testing boundaries like tiny scientists, and figuring out that their choices actually matter.

This is the age where they:

- Absorb everything—language, behaviors, reactions.

- Push limits—not to be difficult, but because they’re exploring autonomy.

- Struggle with emotions—because big feelings are hard to handle when you’re small.

They’re not misbehaving to spite you—they’re learning through cause and effect. Understanding that helps parents respond with clarity, not frustration.

2. Tantrums & Big Feelings: When Toddlers Test Every Last Nerve

Tantrums aren’t personal attacks (even if they feel like it). They’re how toddlers express frustration when they don’t have the words. The key is handling them without losing control.

The Meltdown Heard ‘Round the Mall

One of the most unforgettable tantrums I ever faced wasn’t in the living room or a grocery aisle—it was inside a glitter-packed, tween-dream store called Claire’s.

It was my oldest daughter's eighth birthday, and we were there because she had a gift card. Before walking in, I made it crystal clear to my twins—no purchases today. We simply didn’t have the money.

Fast forward fifteen minutes, and my daughter Chloe was determined that today was definitely the day I should buy her something. The moment we reached the register, she stomped her foot, let out a full-volume scream, and declared, “You ALWAYS buy for Cassidy and NOT ME! You hate me!”

Now, you know she was loud when my husband heard her from another store. I didn’t argue, didn’t plead. I just looked at Cassidy and said: “I’m so sorry, but we need to leave. We’ll come back at a better time.” No bargaining, no negotiating—just a clear decision. I held Chloe’s hand, led my family out, and stayed silent. I would not speak until I knew I could stay calm.

The second the car doors shut? I lost it.

“How dare you speak to me like that?! I explained before we even stepped inside that we didn’t have money. That was totally embarrassing!” And then I started crying—which meant ALL THREE of my kids started crying.

My husband, looking for an escape hatch, asked, “Why are you crying?”

I told him the truth: “Because when someone says something mean or hurtful, it breaks my heart.”

And in that moment, I unintentionally taught my kids something I never planned—parents aren’t invincible. Words matter. The way you speak to people matters. And the people who love you feel your words deeply.

That was the first and last meltdown any of my kids ever had.

How to Handle Tantrums

- Be clear and firm—No, you're not giving endless choices. You're the parent. 

- Stay calm—Losing your cool escalates their emotions.

- Act, don’t react—Sometimes leaving the situation is the best move.

- Teach respect—Let them see that words have weight, even when aimed at parents.

3. Encouraging Independence: Let Them Shine

Toddlers **want** to do things on their own, even if they’re comically bad at it. Encouraging independence **builds confidence**, and **yes, it might slow you down**—but it’s worth it.

Ways to foster independence:

- Let them help (even if it’s messy).

- Give them responsibility—teach self-help skills like putting on shoes.

- Praise effort—cheering them on fuels motivation.

4. Sleep Struggles & Routines: Winning Bedtime Battles

Creating a strong bedtime routine can make a huge difference:

- Predictability Matters—Same steps, same time every night.

- Comfort Items Help—A favorite stuffed animal or blanket can be soothing.

- Avoid Overstimulation—Quiet activities before bed, dim lights, and calm voices.

- If They Stall—Keep responses short and firm—“It’s time to sleep now.”

5. Food Fights & Picky Eating: Lower the Stress

Toddlers can be frustrating eaters! Keep mealtimes positive:

- Make it fun—Cut food into shapes, add dips, or let them “help” prepare it.

- No pressure—Avoid forcing bites—trust their appetite.

- Offer variety—Present familiar and new foods together.

- Routine matters—Consistent meal and snack times support healthy eating.

6. The Joy of Play: Learning Through Fun

Play is their main way of learning! Encourage:

- Pretend Play—Dolls, stuffed animals, or role-playing builds creativity.

- Sensory Play—Water, sand, playdough—textures help cognitive growth.

- Outdoor Play—Climbing, jumping, and running improve motor skills.

- Social Play—Even parallel play teaches valuable interaction skills.

7. Parenting with Humor: Because Some Days, You Just Have to Laugh

Some toddler moments borderline on absurd. Like the time my kid dramatically rejected dinner because “the peas looked at me funny.”

But the messy, unexpected moments make toddlerhood unforgettable. 

They’ll push boundaries. They’ll scream over the wrong-colored socks. They’ll stage protests over dinner. But you’ll blink, and they’ll be grown.

So, take a breath, stand firm, and enjoy the ride—tantrums and all.

We all have those unforgettable toddler moments—the tantrums that echoed through public spaces, the oddly insightful (and sometimes brutal) toddler wisdom, and the hilarious parenting wins and fails. What’s the wildest toddler tantrum you’ve ever survived?  

Grab a cup of 🫖 and drop your story in the comments—I’d love to hear it! Let’s swap war stories and celebrate the chaos together.

Disclaimer: The parenting advice shared on Tea With Honey comes from over 40 years of firsthand experience. However, I am not a licensed medical professional. For health-related concerns, including serious medical symptoms, always consult a qualified doctor or pediatrician.

Decoding Baby Mysteries:

Signs, Remedies & Your Instincts Taking Over  

Babies don’t come with an instruction manual—though every new parent wishes they did, When they cry, squirm, or fuss, it feels like a guessing game with no obvious answer key, But here’s the secret: your instincts will kick in.  

The more you observe, the more you’ll start recognizing patterns, tiny cues, and behaviors that tell you exactly what your baby needs. This guide will help you navigate the early months with confidence, humor, and practical wisdom.

Signs It’s Time to Change Your Baby’s Formula

Not every formula is the right fit—sometimes, babies struggle with digestion, and their little bodies give clear signals it’s time to switch things up. 

✅ Frequent spit-up or vomiting beyond typical reflux.  

✅ Excess gas or bloating, leading to fussiness after feeding.  

✅ Sudden eczema or rash, which may signal a sensitivity.  

💡 What to Try: If symptoms persist, talk to your pediatrician about gentler or allergy-friendly formulas that might work better.  

Surviving Colic: The Crying Phase No One Warns You About 

Colic can feel like an endurance test, with hours of unexplained crying despite every effort to soothe. If your baby shows signs of colic, brace yourself for a wild ride:  

✅ Crying for more than 3 hours a day, at least 3 days a week.  

✅ Arching the back, stiffening limbs, and refusing comfort.  

✅ Peak fussiness in the late afternoon or evening. with no clear reason.  

💡 What Helps: Try swaddling, white noise, tummy massages, and frequent burping. Sometimes, holding your baby in a colic-friendly position (like upright against your chest) can bring relief.  

Diaper Rash: How to Treat and Prevent It

Diaper rash is inevitable, but  (no pun intended) you don’t have to struggle with managing it. Here’s how to keep irritation at bay:  

✅ Frequent diaper changes to keep skin dry.  

✅ Barrier creams with zinc oxide for maximum protection.  

✅ Warm baths with baking soda to calm redness.  

✅ Oatmeal Soaks: No need to DIY—just grab Aveeno Oatmeal Bath for a quick, mess-free solution.  

💡 Avoid baby wipes with alcohol, and if rashes keep returning, consider switching to cloth diapers.  

Teething Clues: What Your Baby’s Subtle Behaviors Mean

Before their first tiny tooth appears, babies start showing clear signs that teething is underway:  

✅ Tugging on their ears or rubbing cheeks.  

✅ Smacking hands against their face or nose.  

✅ Runny nose and a mild temperature (~100.6°F).  

💡 What Works: Try chilled teething toys, frozen washcloths, or gentle gum massage to ease discomfort. If your baby’s temperature climbs above 100.6°F, don’t panic—it’s likely just a mild virus or infection, easily treated with rest and fluids.  

Baby Sleep: Myths, Tricks & The Truth

There’s no one-size-fits-all sleep approach, but there are a few parenting tricks that can make bedtime smoother.  

✅ Side, Back, or Stomach?** Babies should **sleep on their backs** to lower the risk of SIDS, but side-sleeping can be a great transition after they doze off.  

✅ Noise is Okay! A completely silent environment creates a bad habit—instead, let your baby get used to normal household sounds while sleeping. Womb sounds, heartbeat noises, or gentle white noise help comfort babies without needing total silence.

💡 And the biggest myth? That you shouldn’t hold your baby to sleep.

Shut up, seriously. Holding your baby to sleep is bonding—it’s how they learn security, trust, and routine. I sang nursery rhymes (soft, repetitive tones) until my babies started nodding off. Then I’d place them on their side, put on the Mommy Mommybear womb sounds, and pat their little diaper butts until they were fully asleep.  

✅ The key to sleeping through the night is a routine:

🔹 Feed.  

🔹 Play.  

🔹 Bath (Johnson & Johnson’s Lavender Soap for extra relaxation).  

🔹 Read a short book.  

🔹 Snuggle.  

🔹 Singing & soothing.  

🔹 Bed.  

💡 This consistent bedtime routine helped my kids sleep through the night, and it made nighttime a peaceful ritual instead of a nightly battle.  

The Power of Maternal Instincts

Motherhood isn’t just about following parenting books—it’s about learning your baby’s unique cues and trusting your gut.  

Even when babies cry with no clear reason, parents start picking up on the little things—a certain cry for hunger, a fussy whimper for sleep, or an ear tug that means teething.  

Instead of overthinking, lean into your intuition—because chances are, you already know what to do.  

Conclusion

Parenting is equal parts patience and detective work, but you’re more prepared than you realize. Babies may not come with instructions, but they do leave clues, and every parent learns to decode them in their own way. So take a breath, trust yourself, and know that you're doing an incredible job.  

Enjoy a cup, 🫖

~Honey 

Disclaimer
The parenting advice shared on Tea With Honey comes from over 40 years of firsthand experience. However, I am not a licensed medical professional. For health-related concerns, including serious medical symptoms, always consult a qualified doctor or pediatrician.

Trusting Instincts: The Foundation of Healthy Baby Routines

Becoming a mom at 20 wasn’t the shock that people expected it to be—if anything, it felt like a natural continuation of the caregiving role I had played for years. From babysitting to helping my grandmother, watching over my disabled aunt, and even stepping in when my own mother fell ill, I had already navigated the world of nurturing long before I had a child of my own.  

So when my daughter was born, I didn’t look for parenting books, unsolicited advice, or a checklist of what I was “supposed” to do. I just **knew**. The structure she needed, the comfort she craved, the way she communicated—it all felt second nature.  

That didn’t mean the journey was without its challenges. My mother, ever the control freak, constantly tried to tell me how to raise my daughter. My husband? Hilariously clueless, but willing to learn (and, to his credit, became an incredible dad). And while the outside world expected me to struggle or feel overwhelmed, I never did.  

This confidence shaped the way I established healthy routines from the start—because parenting wasn’t about following someone else’s rulebook. It was about creating a rhythm that worked for us.  

Building a Rhythm: The Healthy Routines That Worked  

Since parenting felt natural to me, I didn’t overcomplicate things with excessive books, advice, or trendy methods. Instead, I followed my instincts and observed what worked for my daughter. The routines we established were built on consistency, comfort, and intuition—not rigid schedules, but predictable rhythms that kept her secure.  

Sleep: I wasn’t about the endless battles of sleep training. Instead, I focused on soothing signals—consistent bedtime cues, soft sounds, and a comforting presence. My daughter knew when it was time to sleep because we created a calm, predictable transition, not because I forced a schedule on her.  

Feeding: Whether breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, or transitioning to solids, I paid attention to her cues. She told me when she was hungry, and I **trusted her timing** rather than forcing a strict schedule. Routine developed naturally based on her needs.  

Daily Flow: Every day had its rhythm, but it wasn’t about the clock—it was about patterns. Morning meant wake-up cuddles, mid-day meant movement and engagement, and evenings meant slowing down. She thrived on predictable comfort, not rigid expectations.  

Through it all, I kept one key philosophy. Parenting wasn’t about control—it was about connection. My mom hated that I didn’t ask for advice. But I didn’t need to. I wasn’t overwhelmed, because I wasn’t trying to force motherhood into a mold. I let it unfold. And my daughter? She responded to it beautifully.  

Parenting Instincts: Trusting What You Know

One of the biggest lessons I learned early on? Trust your gut.

When my daughter was spitting up excessively and her bowel movements didn’t look right, I did what any parent would do—I voiced my concerns. But instead of a thoughtful discussion, I was met with condescension. A pediatrician who saw my age before he saw my capability, dismissing me with textbook explanations that assumed I was the problem, rather than acknowledging something might actually be wrong.  

But here’s the thing—I knew my baby. I knew she wasn’t just spitting up because of bad feeding habits, and I knew that this wasn’t “normal.” So, instead of blindly accepting a dismissive answer, I made the call myself: I switched her formula to soy. And just like that, the excessive spitting up stopped, and her bowel movements looked normal again.  

That moment shaped my parenting philosophy forever. I learned that experts aren’t always right, instincts aren’t just guesses, and most importantly—no one knows your baby better than you do.

Final Thoughts: Parenting by Instinct

Motherhood didn’t come with a manual—just instinct, experience, and a refusal to let anyone tell me what I should be doing. From the moment my daughter was born, I trusted what I knew, even when others doubted me.

And that’s the lesson I’ll always stand by: Experts don’t always get it right. Advice isn’t always necessary. And instincts? They’re worth listening to.

If I had ignored my gut, my daughter would have stayed sick longer than she needed to. But because I trusted what I knew—what I had learned from caregiving long before I became a mother—she thrived.

Parenting isn’t about proving yourself to the world. It’s about knowing your child, trusting yourself, and following what feels right—no matter who tries to tell you otherwise.

If you have a relatable story, I'd love to hear from you. 

Grab a cup, 🫖 & let's chat

~Honey

Twins Days Festival

Every year, Twinsburg, Ohio hosts the Twins Days Festival, the world's largest gathering of twins, multiples, and those who just love seeing double. Matching outfits, twin parades, and genetic research—it's a weekend where the phrase “two of a kind” is an understatement.  

If my kids ever attended, they’d fit right in, but not in the way people expect. Forget the twin stereotypes; these two created their own language, a secret sibling code only they understood. People assumed twinhood was all about identical looks or matching habits, but my twins proved that true connection runs much deeper.  

And then there was my oldest, fluent in their twin-speak despite being born two years earlier—because in our house, twinhood wasn’t just for two, it was for three. Whether you’re an actual twin or just an honorary one, Twins Days is proof that sibling bonds come in all forms. 

Hope to see you there!

Grab a cup of 🫖  & share, 

~Honey

Twins? Nope, Just Triplets by Association

I always knew raising twins would be an adventure, but what I didn’t expect was **an honorary third twin** joining the mix. My older daughter, despite being two years ahead of her twin siblings, blended in so naturally that people genuinely thought I had triplets. And honestly? I don’t blame them.  

But let’s get one thing straight—my twins were **anything but identical.** My son was sharp as a whip, effortlessly excelling in school, while my daughter struggled to find her academic footing. Their personalities clashed in every possible way, leading to constant battles that left me wondering if twinhood came with an automatic fight club membership. Yet despite all the bickering, their bond remained unshakable. If someone dared to mess with one of them, the other was instantly ready to throw down.  

And then there was my oldest, the **unofficial third twin**, who never showed a hint of jealousy but always wanted a twin of her own. Instead, she got two younger siblings who, for better or worse, pulled her into their world without hesitation.  

People hear the word "twins" and immediately picture perfectly matched personalities, identical habits, and unbreakable inseparability. If only they had seen my household—where twinhood meant polar opposites constantly testing boundaries, yet somehow always circling back to protect each other.

Twinhood: More Confusing Than Matching

When people hear "twins," they picture perfect symmetry—matching clothes, identical personalities, and an inseparable bond so strong they practically read each other’s minds. But my twins? They shattered every one of those expectations.  

Take their time in school: My son was sharp and prepared, always on top of things. My daughter, on the other hand, struggled with school, often forgetting assignments. Their differences were so pronounced that a teacher actually asked if they lived in separate households as if twins couldn’t possibly exist without academic alignment.  

It was a frustrating assumption, one I had to push back against often. Twins aren’t two halves of the same whole,  they’re individuals who happen to share a birthday. And as different as my twins were, there was one unshakable truth: they had each other’s backs.  

Even if they spent half their childhood battling over nonsense, the second anyone outside the family criticized one of them, the other was ready to fight. It wasn’t about being identical it was about an unspoken loyalty that ran deeper than their differences.  

And then there was my oldest, their honorary twin, who never had the jealousy people expected. She was just in the mix, part of the chaos, and completely accepted as their third musketeer.

But here’s where things took an unexpected turn while most people assume a house full of siblings means constant noise and chaos, visitors would walk in and say, "Where are the kids?" My three weren’t just close they were calm, connected, and effortlessly peaceful together. No screaming, no wild energy just a tight-knit trio whose bond made their household feel surprisingly serene.  

Twinhood isn’t about being carbon copies it's about an unbreakable connection, even if that connection comes with a lot of shouting, defending, and moments of pure silence.  

How Twinhood Shifted Over Time

Growing up, my twins were constantly at odds but fiercely loyal—ready to bicker over nonsense but also stand up for each other the second it mattered. My oldest daughter blended so naturally into their world that strangers mistook them for triplets. And despite their differences, the three of them kept a peaceful, close-knit dynamic that baffled outsiders.  

But what happens when childhood fades and real life starts pulling siblings in different directions?  

As they got older, their bond shifted but never disappeared. The twin rivalry softened into a deep understanding, where their differences weren’t something to fight over anymore—they just accepted each other’s strengths and weaknesses. My son continued excelling in academics, while my daughter found her own passions outside of the traditional school system. And my oldest? She remained the steady force between them, the glue that kept their trio intact.  

Even when life moved them apart—different schools, different careers, different paths—their loyalty never wavered. They might not spend every moment together like they used to, but when one of them needs backup, the others are always right there.  

This natural evolution of siblinghood shows that being close doesn’t mean being identical it means showing up, even when life changes.  

Final Thoughts: Twins, Triplets, and the Unbreakable Bond

Raising twins wasn’t what people expected—at least, not in my house. They weren’t mirror images, they weren’t effortlessly in sync, and they certainly weren’t finishing each other’s sentences like a sitcom duo. Instead, they spent half their childhood arguing over nonsense, the other half silently scheming together, and every moment in between defending each other like warriors.  

And then there was my oldest, seamlessly woven into their world. She wasn’t a twin, but she might as well have been. If sibling relationships had VIP memberships, she was grandfathered into the club, no questions asked. While outsiders expected twinhood to mean two perfectly matched siblings, our reality proved that bonding isn’t about birth order, personality type, or even numbers—it’s about connection.

Looking back, I realize twinhood, in all its chaotic and beautiful contradictions, was never about being identical—it was about being unshakably loyal, even when loyalty sometimes looked like picking a fight just for fun. And in my house, that loyalty wasn’t just between two. It was between three.  

Grab a cup, 🫖 and let me know if you had a similar experience or vastly different with your twins. 

~Honey

The Truth About Birth Order: Breaking the Myths in My Own Family

Everyone assumes the youngest child is reckless, spoiled, and irresponsible. It’s basically a universal truth—eldest kids are the responsible ones, middle kids are the forgotten ones, and youngest kids? We’re the chaos. Except… that’s not always *true*. 

If the stereotypes were right, I’d be a nightmare—irresponsible, entitled, constantly seeking attention. Instead, I’m *exactly* the opposite. I’m level-headed, easygoing, sharp as hell (even if some people underestimate me), and fiercely independent. So, where did the myth break down? And more importantly, how did I make sure my own kids weren’t boxed into these tired family roles?

Birth order might shape experiences, but it doesn’t *define* who we become. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that breaking the cycle starts with *seeing it for what it is*. 

 Breaking the Cycle: Raising My Kids Differently

If my childhood taught me anything, it’s that labels don’t just shape how people see you—they shape how they *fail* to see you. I was never reckless, never the disaster they assumed I’d be, but because I had ADD, I got slapped with every insulting label imaginable. *Stupid. Idiot. Remedial.* As if struggling to focus meant struggling to *think*.  

But here’s the thing—none of those labels were *true*, and none of them defined me. And I refused to carry that weight into my own parenting. Instead of assuming my kids were *preprogrammed* to fit some outdated birth order myth, I raised them based on how *I* wish I had been treated: with patience, with understanding, and with the freedom to be exactly who they are.  

In my house, there’s no “eldest must be responsible,” no “middle child is forgotten,” and definitely no “youngest is a chaos gremlin” (even though, let’s be real, *sometimes* they earn that title). My kids get to be *who they are*—not who the universe randomly decided they should be based on when they showed up.  

I see them. I *know* them. And more importantly, I *love* them for who they are—not for how they fit into some outdated idea of family roles.  

Funny how when you actually *pay attention* to who your kids *are* instead of relying on myths, they turn out pretty damn great. Who knew?  

And let me tell you—watching them grow into their own identities without carrying generational baggage? *That’s* a win that beats any match in Apex, no matter how satisfying that Kraber headshot was.  

Conclusion: The Truth About Birth Order

Here’s the thing—family roles aren’t destiny. Birth order isn’t a personality blueprint. And the labels slapped onto us as kids? They don’t define who we are.  

I wasn’t reckless. I wasn’t rebellious. And I sure as hell wasn’t stupid. But that didn’t stop people from treating me like I *was*.  

The truth is, myths are comfortable. They make people feel like they *understand* something—like they can predict behavior just because of when a kid was born. But comfort doesn’t make something *true*. And I refuse to let my children grow up under the weight of assumptions that have nothing to do with *who they actually are*.  

So if you’re still clinging to the idea that birth order determines character, think about this—did you *choose* who you became, or did someone else decide it for you?  

Because my kids? They get to decide. And let me tell you—watching them grow into the incredible, self-assured, *authentic* people they are today fills me with more pride than I can put into words. They aren’t weighed down by myths or expectations. They know who they are, and they own it fully.  

And that’s a truth no myth can argue with.  

But here’s the real question—what labels were put on *you* growing up, and how did they shape the person you are today?  

Grab a cup 🫖 and let's talk. 

~Honey

The Oxford Inheritance – A Dark Academia Thriller That Keeps You Guessing

If you love books filled with gothic intrigue, elite institutions, and buried family secrets, *The Oxford Inheritance* by Ann A. McDonald might just be your next obsession.  

Cassandra Blackwell arrives at Oxford with a simple mission—uncover the truth behind her mother’s past. But as she navigates the ancient halls and prestigious traditions, she stumbles into a world of dark secrets, secret societies, and eerie discoveries that make her question everything. Think Secret History meets Rebecca, where power lurks beneath sophistication and the past refuses to stay buried.  

This novel is ideal for those who crave mystery with a touch of supernatural unease, packed with hidden truths, atmospheric suspense, and an unraveling narrative that keeps the pages turning.  

Pair this read with a warm cup of chai or honey-infused black tea, and prepare to be transported into Oxford’s shadowy corridors.  

Unraveling Secrets in The Oxford Inheritance

Dark academia, a prestigious university, and secrets buried beneath centuries of tradition—The Oxford Inheritance delivers a mystery that pulls readers into its shadowy corridors. But beyond the suspense, the novel invites questions about power, privilege, and the cost of uncovering the truth.

Let’s Discuss

If you’ve picked up The Oxford Inheritance, here are a few thought-provoking questions to dive deeper into the story:

📖 Did Cassandra’s journey at Oxford pull you in? Was her experience navigating the elite institution relatable or purely immersive fiction?

🎭 How does the novel explore power within privileged circles? Does the secret society reflect real-world influences, or is it purely exaggerated thriller drama?

🔄 Were the plot twists predictable, or did they completely surprise you? If you love stories that keep you guessing, let’s talk about which moments stood out the most!

🎬 If this book became a movie, who would you cast? Imagine an atmospheric, Oxford-set thriller with the perfect lineup—who do you see stepping into Cassandra’s role?

🍵 And finally, the tea pairing challenge: What brew best complements this read? Classic Earl Grey for its refined depth, or something richer and more mysterious like smoked black tea?

Burned Out, Overworked, and Still Getting Judged—The Gen X Story

Gen X is exhausted. Not just the “I need a nap” kind of tired, but the “I’ve been carrying multiple generations on my back, and now my joints are demanding workers’ comp” kind of tired.

For decades, we’ve quietly handled everything—raising kids, caring for aging parents, keeping the workforce running, and, apparently, ruining grandparenting by refusing to be live-in nannies on demand.

At this point, our options are burn out completely or retire early—even if it financially makes zero sense—just to breathe.

So let’s talk about it. 

Ah, Gen X. The unsung, overworked, eternally underestimated middle child of the generations. Born between the self-important Boomers, and the chronically online Millennials, we’ve spent decades quietly holding everything together while somehow managing to avoid both participation trophies and “greatest generation” status. And now? We’ve been slapped with a new title: bad grandparents.  

Yes, you heard that right. Apparently, after surviving latchkey childhoods, perfecting the art of fixing things with duct tape, paying off everyone else’s student loans, keeping the economy from completely imploding, and raising families with zero manuals, we are now failing at grandparenting.  

Why? Because Gen Xers aren’t bending over backward to serve up round-the-clock childcare, financial bailouts, and emotional life coaching without question. Because after decades of being the responsible generation, we had the audacity to—*gasp!*—start setting boundaries.  

And while we’re at it, can we talk about how we’re somehow ALSO expected to financially support our Boomer parents? Yes, the same parents who reminded us daily that “no one’s going to hand you anything in life” are now expecting us to pay off their mortgages, fund their retirement, and cover their medical bills while still saving for our own futures and keeping our kids afloat. Oh, the irony.  

But here’s the real kicker: Gen X is exhausted. Like, physically, mentally, and emotionally spent. Years of grinding, supporting everyone else, and putting ourselves last have taken a toll. We are burning out, developing chronic illnesses, suffering from stress-induced disabilities, and watching our own health deteriorate while still being handed more responsibilities.  

At this point, many Gen Xers are strongly considering early retirement—not because we’ve hit some cushy financial milestone, but because we simply need a break before life takes the rest of our sanity and lower back strength. Retirement planning now consists of running the numbers, realizing we can’t afford it, and then doing it anyway because working until the grave is not the vibe.  

Listen, we get it. We’re good at handling things. We don’t complain (too much). We don’t demand validation every five seconds. But we would like to opt out of the bottomless pit of expectations that assumes we will continue playing the role of **human Swiss Army knife** for every generation above and below us.  

Oh, and about that ‘bad grandparent’ label? Let’s compare notes.  

This weekend alone, we baked cookies, played board games, ran around outside, played video games, watched a movie, made sure they had a bath, and even gave them a haircut. Oh, and we survived all of it without needing to be bribed with whiskey and silence.  

So remind us again—what exactly makes us bad grandparents? Because we would’ve loved to have had grandparents like us growing up.  

Let’s be honest: Gen X grandparenting is active, engaging, and a million times more fun than sitting quietly in a stiff chair while grandpa reads the newspaper and complains about “kids these days.”  

If anything, it’s time to ditch that tired label because Gen X is doing grandparenting right. 

#GenX #Burnout #Overworked #BadGrandparentsMyFoot #WeDidEverything #TimeForABreak #MiddleChildGeneration #RetirementSoundsNice

Creativity from the Cradle

How to Inspire Artistic Expression at 10 Months

As caregivers, we don’t just watch children grow, we shape how they see the world. From chalk to paper, paint to crayons, creativity starts early, and your toolbox is the key to unlocking a child’s imagination.  

By 10 months, babies may not be Picasso yet, but they love color, texture, movement, and messy exploration. The goal isn’t perfect artwork—it’s joyful, unrestricted expression!  

1. The Must-Have Tools for Baby Artists

Whenever I care for a child, I’m always prepared with my trusty art kit:  

✔️ **Chunky Crayons** – Easy to grip and perfect for bold scribbles.  

✔️ **Non-Toxic Paints** – Let them explore color blending with safe finger paints.  

✔️ **Sidewalk Chalk** – Large enough for tiny hands, great for sensory play.  

✔️ **Textured Paper** – Thick craft paper, recycled cardboard, and even sandpaper for variety.  

**Pro Tip:** Keep an "Art Basket" ready—grab it whenever inspiration strikes!  

2. Messy Play is the Best Play

Forget clean lines—**encourage the chaos!** Creativity **thrives in mess** and exploration.  

🎨 **Squish Painting** – Smear baby-safe paint on plastic wrap and let them squish it with their hands.  

🖌️ **Chalk Scribbles on Cardboard** – A tactile way to explore movement.  

👣 **Feet & Hand Painting** – Let them stamp tiny footprints or handprints onto paper for sensory fun.  

3. Storytelling Through Art & Movement

Even before speaking, babies connect with images and gestures. Combine art with **early storytelling:  

📖 **Draw Simple Faces & Talk About Emotions** – Smiling, surprised, silly—let them "read" expressions through drawings.  

💡 **Hand-in-Hand Art** – Place your hand next to theirs, guiding them to "trace" movement and lines.  

🎭 **Act It Out!** – Scribble a sun and say "it's a bright day," then let them add their own mark to the story.  

4. Building a Daily Creative Habit

The secret to raising a creative child? Make art part of everyday life.  

✔️ **10-Minute Art Time** – Just a few minutes daily encourages exploration.  

✔️ **Let Them Choose Their Colors** – Even if it’s a wild mix, the act of choosing builds independence.  

✔️ **Celebrate the Process** – Instead of "What a pretty picture!" say "I love how you mixed those colors!"**  

Final Thought: Creativity Starts with You

By providing the right tools, freedom to explore, and encouragement, you shape lifelong artists, thinkers, and creators. It's not about the finished product—it’s about the joy of creating!

Enjoy a cup 🫖

Honey