Preparing Your First Child For A New Sibling

There’s a lot of advice out there about preparing for a second baby — wash the newborn clothes, set up the bassinet, stock the freezer, pack the hospital bag.

But almost no one talks about preparing the child you already have.

Not the checklist version.
Not the “read them a big sibling book” version.
Not the “let them help pick out a onesie” version.

I mean the emotional preparation.
The quiet, tender, invisible work that happens long before the baby arrives.

Because when you’re pregnant with your second child, you’re not just growing a new life — you’re reshaping the world of the little person who made you a mother in the first place.

And that shift can feel big for both of you.

Here are the gentle, real‑life ways to help your first child feel secure, seen, and deeply loved as your family grows.

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1. Name the Feelings They Don’t Have Words For Yet

Toddlers and young kids don’t say,
“I’m afraid you won’t have time for me anymore.”
They say:

• “No baby.”
• “Mommy hold me.”
• “Go away.”
• Or they suddenly melt down over the wrong color cup.

It’s not misbehavior — it’s uncertainty.

You can give them language like:
“It’s okay to feel unsure. Things are changing, but you’re still my baby too.”

Kids relax when their feelings are named, not corrected.

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2. Create “Just Us” Moments — Even Tiny Ones

You don’t need a full day or a big outing.
You don’t even need to leave the house.

Try:

• brushing their hair slowly
• reading one book with full attention
• sitting on the floor and letting them lead play
• a five‑minute cuddle before bed

These small rituals become emotional anchors.
They say, “You still matter. You’re still mine.”

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3. Let Them Be Little

When a new baby is coming, older siblings often regress.
They want:

• more cuddles
• more help
• more attention
• more reassurance

This isn’t a step backward.
It’s a request for connection.

Let them be little.
Let them cling.
Let them need you.

It’s temporary — and it’s healthy.

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4. Talk About the Baby in a Way That Includes Them

Instead of:
“The baby needs me right now.”

Try:
“We’re going to take care of the baby together.”
or
“The baby is lucky to have you.”

Kids don’t want to feel replaced.
They want to feel important.

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5. Show Them Photos of When They Were the Baby

This is magic.

It reminds them:

• they were once held like that
• they were once the center
• they were once the tiny one everyone adored

It helps them understand that love didn’t disappear — it grew.

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6. Prepare Yourself, Too

Because the truth is:
You’re adjusting right alongside them.

You’re learning how to mother two hearts at once.
You’re learning how to stretch your love without stretching yourself thin.
You’re learning how to hold space for their feelings while navigating your own.

And you’re doing better than you think.

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7. Remember: Their World Isn’t Ending — It’s Expanding

Your first child isn’t losing you.
They’re gaining someone who will love them because you love them.

They’re gaining:

• a playmate
• a partner in mischief
• a teammate
• a witness to their childhood

And one day, you’ll watch them together — sharing snacks, fighting over toys, whispering secrets — and you’ll realize that this transition, this guilt, this emotional stretch… it was all leading to something beautiful.

Your heart didn’t divide.
It multiplied.
And theirs will too.

If you missed my post about the guilt moms feel when expecting baby #2, you can read it here.

• The Quiet Guilt

🤝 Sibling Rivalry and the Hand-Holding Hack

From swing disputes to teenage squabbles—sometimes you just need a grip on the situation.  

They say siblings are built-in best friends. I say they're also built-in sparring partners. Whether it’s a tug-of-war over a cookie or an all-out emotional showdown over the TV remote, the sibling dynamic is as unpredictable as a toddler’s taste buds.

In our house, I’ve learned that peace doesn’t come from perfect fairness—it comes from creative parenting. Exhibit A: the “hand-hold method.”

 👐 The Method That Works Like Magic

One day, in the middle of a loud, dramatic standoff between my kids about who touched the remote last (very serious business), I pulled out a wild card. I made them hold hands. Not just a quick grasp—I told them they couldn’t let go until they calmed down and talked it out themselves.

There were groans. There were limp fingers. There may have been a few theatrical sighs. But somewhere between the awkward grip and reluctant giggles, something shifted. They talked. They compromised. I sipped my coffee like a triumphant wizard.

And here’s the kicker—I did this even when they were teenagers. Yep. Full-fledged, sarcasm-wielding adolescents. I braced for rebellion... maybe a full-blown dissertation on personal boundaries. But instead? Compliance. Grudging, awkward, miraculous compliance.

They held hands. They talked. And the conflict evaporated, like magic (or maybe just solid parenting theater).

 🎬 Let’s Talk Movie Moments

To add some cinematic flair, here’s a clip from *Cheaper by the Dozen*—a film that gets the chaos of a big family just right. [Watch the scene here] 

You’ll see the humor, mess, and heart that mirrors what many of us navigate daily.

 💬 Lessons from the Front Lines

Creativity > Control: Rules don’t always win, but a little surprise can rewire a moment.

Teenagers will surprise you: Even in their sassiest phases, they’re still open to trust-based discipline.

Sibling rivalry is normal—but our responses can turn it into an opportunity for growth.

So next time your kids argue over who gets the blue cup or the front seat, try the hand-hold. Awkward? Yes. Effective? Shockingly so.

Because parenting isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up with love, resilience, and the occasional weird-but-wonderful solution.

🧠 What’s Your Sibling Showdown Strategy?

Sibling rivalry isn’t just a phase—it’s practically a family rite of passage. But every parent discovers their own trick, tactic, or touch of magic. So let’s swap stories:

• ☑️ The Hand-Hold Method – Awkwardly effective, emotionally brilliant
• ☑️ Distraction Dance Party – A groove to outmatch grumbles
• ☑️ Solve-It-Yourself Strategy – Hands-off parenting with a purpose
• ☑️ Your Own Genius Move – Add it to the comment section below!

✨ Reader Challenge of the Week: Try the hand-hold hack. Yes, even with your teens. Then come back and tell us:

• Did they giggle?
• Did they roll their eyes into next Tuesday?
• Did they actually work it out?

We’ll feature the most hilarious or heartfelt submissions in a future post right here on Tea With Honey. 💛

Nobody Warned Me About the Silence

The Unspoken Transition from Full-Time Mom to... 

Something Else

They don’t tell you that the hardest part of parenting isn’t the toddler tantrums or the teenage moods—it’s the stillness that comes after. The silence that hums too loudly when the door doesn’t burst open at 3:45, when there are no band concerts to rush to, or softball uniforms to wash. When the kitchen hums with nothing but your own thoughts—and maybe, if you’re lucky, a little Aerosmith turned up loud enough to drown them out for a bit.

There’s no ceremony for this stage. No “You Did It!” banner fluttering over your head when your kids step into adulthood. Instead, there’s a quiet unraveling—a slow shift from being needed every day to wondering where you fit in now. 

I wish someone had warned me about the ache. The depression that sneaks in like fog after the storm, not because you want them to need you forever, but because you don’t know who you are without being needed. When your days aren’t wrapped around someone else’s schedule, you can lose your rhythm. It’s grief, in a way—mourning the role that once defined your every breath.

And then came the move. A new chapter, sure—but one written miles away from the people who once made the pages worth turning. The heartbreak of waving from a different state, pretending it's exciting when what you really feel is abandonment, loneliness, and the hollow ache of empty arms that once held everything that mattered.

But here’s the truth I hold onto like a lifeline: I may not be their anchor anymore—but I’m their lighthouse. I may not get the call every day—but I’ll always answer. And in this quieter season, I’m not fading—I’m evolving. The woman I was before motherhood never vanished. She’s still here, waiting at the edge of the dance floor, barefoot and wild-hearted, ready to crank up the music and reclaim her space.

Because as much as we raise our children, sometimes... we’re given the sacred chance to raise ourselves again, too.

🧭 Let’s Keep This Conversation Going

If this season of “what now?” feels familiar, I’d love to hear your heart.

• What part of parenting adult children has been the hardest for you?

• How have you learned to fill the quiet?

• What helps you feel seen again?

📊 Quick Poll: Where are you on this journey?

Choose the one that feels closest right now:

• 🍼 Still deep in the day-to-day of parenting

• 🧗 Navigating the shift—kids growing, roles changing

• 🌅 Just starting to rediscover myself

• 🎨 Fully embracing this next chapter (and dancing in the kitchen again)

• 👀 Just here to read, not ready to share yet

💬 Share your story in the comments—raw, real, or even rambling. This is a judgment-free front porch.

🪑 And if you’re not ready to speak yet, just type the answer that feels most like you today. 

Just know: someone else is sitting here too, rocking gently through it with you.

Brew a cup 🍵and join in the discussion with me. 

~ Honey 🍯

Navigating the Toddler Years: Chaos, Cuddles, and Growth

Toddlers are tiny whirlwinds of emotion, curiosity, and fierce independence which means parenting them requires a mix of patience, strategy, and maybe a strong cup of tea (or wine, let’s be honest). 

From tantrums that rival Hollywood drama to the sheer joy of watching them discover the world, the toddler years are a wild ride. But with the right approach, you can turn even the toughest moments into teachable experiences that strengthen your bond.

Let’s dive in.

1. The Toddler Mindset: Little Brains in Overdrive

Between ages 1 and 3, toddlers are experiencing massive cognitive and emotional growth. They’re learning how to express themselves, testing boundaries like tiny scientists, and figuring out that their choices actually matter.

This is the age where they:

- Absorb everything—language, behaviors, reactions.

- Push limits—not to be difficult, but because they’re exploring autonomy.

- Struggle with emotions—because big feelings are hard to handle when you’re small.

They’re not misbehaving to spite you—they’re learning through cause and effect. Understanding that helps parents respond with clarity, not frustration.

2. Tantrums & Big Feelings: When Toddlers Test Every Last Nerve

Tantrums aren’t personal attacks (even if they feel like it). They’re how toddlers express frustration when they don’t have the words. The key is handling them without losing control.

The Meltdown Heard ‘Round the Mall

One of the most unforgettable tantrums I ever faced wasn’t in the living room or a grocery aisle—it was inside a glitter-packed, tween-dream store called Claire’s.

It was my oldest daughter's eighth birthday, and we were there because she had a gift card. Before walking in, I made it crystal clear to my twins—no purchases today. We simply didn’t have the money.

Fast forward fifteen minutes, and my daughter Chloe was determined that today was definitely the day I should buy her something. The moment we reached the register, she stomped her foot, let out a full-volume scream, and declared, “You ALWAYS buy for Cassidy and NOT ME! You hate me!”

Now, you know she was loud when my husband heard her from another store. I didn’t argue, didn’t plead. I just looked at Cassidy and said: “I’m so sorry, but we need to leave. We’ll come back at a better time.” No bargaining, no negotiating—just a clear decision. I held Chloe’s hand, led my family out, and stayed silent. I would not speak until I knew I could stay calm.

The second the car doors shut? I lost it.

“How dare you speak to me like that?! I explained before we even stepped inside that we didn’t have money. That was totally embarrassing!” And then I started crying—which meant ALL THREE of my kids started crying.

My husband, looking for an escape hatch, asked, “Why are you crying?”

I told him the truth: “Because when someone says something mean or hurtful, it breaks my heart.”

And in that moment, I unintentionally taught my kids something I never planned—parents aren’t invincible. Words matter. The way you speak to people matters. And the people who love you feel your words deeply.

That was the first and last meltdown any of my kids ever had.

How to Handle Tantrums

- Be clear and firm—No, you're not giving endless choices. You're the parent. 

- Stay calm—Losing your cool escalates their emotions.

- Act, don’t react—Sometimes leaving the situation is the best move.

- Teach respect—Let them see that words have weight, even when aimed at parents.

3. Encouraging Independence: Let Them Shine

Toddlers **want** to do things on their own, even if they’re comically bad at it. Encouraging independence **builds confidence**, and **yes, it might slow you down**—but it’s worth it.

Ways to foster independence:

- Let them help (even if it’s messy).

- Give them responsibility—teach self-help skills like putting on shoes.

- Praise effort—cheering them on fuels motivation.

4. Sleep Struggles & Routines: Winning Bedtime Battles

Creating a strong bedtime routine can make a huge difference:

- Predictability Matters—Same steps, same time every night.

- Comfort Items Help—A favorite stuffed animal or blanket can be soothing.

- Avoid Overstimulation—Quiet activities before bed, dim lights, and calm voices.

- If They Stall—Keep responses short and firm—“It’s time to sleep now.”

5. Food Fights & Picky Eating: Lower the Stress

Toddlers can be frustrating eaters! Keep mealtimes positive:

- Make it fun—Cut food into shapes, add dips, or let them “help” prepare it.

- No pressure—Avoid forcing bites—trust their appetite.

- Offer variety—Present familiar and new foods together.

- Routine matters—Consistent meal and snack times support healthy eating.

6. The Joy of Play: Learning Through Fun

Play is their main way of learning! Encourage:

- Pretend Play—Dolls, stuffed animals, or role-playing builds creativity.

- Sensory Play—Water, sand, playdough—textures help cognitive growth.

- Outdoor Play—Climbing, jumping, and running improve motor skills.

- Social Play—Even parallel play teaches valuable interaction skills.

7. Parenting with Humor: Because Some Days, You Just Have to Laugh

Some toddler moments borderline on absurd. Like the time my kid dramatically rejected dinner because “the peas looked at me funny.”

But the messy, unexpected moments make toddlerhood unforgettable. 

They’ll push boundaries. They’ll scream over the wrong-colored socks. They’ll stage protests over dinner. But you’ll blink, and they’ll be grown.

So, take a breath, stand firm, and enjoy the ride—tantrums and all.

We all have those unforgettable toddler moments—the tantrums that echoed through public spaces, the oddly insightful (and sometimes brutal) toddler wisdom, and the hilarious parenting wins and fails. What’s the wildest toddler tantrum you’ve ever survived?  

Grab a cup of 🫖 and drop your story in the comments—I’d love to hear it! Let’s swap war stories and celebrate the chaos together.

Disclaimer: The parenting advice shared on Tea With Honey comes from over 40 years of firsthand experience. However, I am not a licensed medical professional. For health-related concerns, including serious medical symptoms, always consult a qualified doctor or pediatrician.

Decoding Baby Mysteries:

Signs, Remedies & Your Instincts Taking Over  

Babies don’t come with an instruction manual—though every new parent wishes they did, When they cry, squirm, or fuss, it feels like a guessing game with no obvious answer key, But here’s the secret: your instincts will kick in.  

The more you observe, the more you’ll start recognizing patterns, tiny cues, and behaviors that tell you exactly what your baby needs. This guide will help you navigate the early months with confidence, humor, and practical wisdom.

Signs It’s Time to Change Your Baby’s Formula

Not every formula is the right fit—sometimes, babies struggle with digestion, and their little bodies give clear signals it’s time to switch things up. 

✅ Frequent spit-up or vomiting beyond typical reflux.  

✅ Excess gas or bloating, leading to fussiness after feeding.  

✅ Sudden eczema or rash, which may signal a sensitivity.  

💡 What to Try: If symptoms persist, talk to your pediatrician about gentler or allergy-friendly formulas that might work better.  

Surviving Colic: The Crying Phase No One Warns You About 

Colic can feel like an endurance test, with hours of unexplained crying despite every effort to soothe. If your baby shows signs of colic, brace yourself for a wild ride:  

✅ Crying for more than 3 hours a day, at least 3 days a week.  

✅ Arching the back, stiffening limbs, and refusing comfort.  

✅ Peak fussiness in the late afternoon or evening. with no clear reason.  

💡 What Helps: Try swaddling, white noise, tummy massages, and frequent burping. Sometimes, holding your baby in a colic-friendly position (like upright against your chest) can bring relief.  

Diaper Rash: How to Treat and Prevent It

Diaper rash is inevitable, but  (no pun intended) you don’t have to struggle with managing it. Here’s how to keep irritation at bay:  

✅ Frequent diaper changes to keep skin dry.  

✅ Barrier creams with zinc oxide for maximum protection.  

✅ Warm baths with baking soda to calm redness.  

✅ Oatmeal Soaks: No need to DIY—just grab Aveeno Oatmeal Bath for a quick, mess-free solution.  

💡 Avoid baby wipes with alcohol, and if rashes keep returning, consider switching to cloth diapers.  

Teething Clues: What Your Baby’s Subtle Behaviors Mean

Before their first tiny tooth appears, babies start showing clear signs that teething is underway:  

✅ Tugging on their ears or rubbing cheeks.  

✅ Smacking hands against their face or nose.  

✅ Runny nose and a mild temperature (~100.6°F).  

💡 What Works: Try chilled teething toys, frozen washcloths, or gentle gum massage to ease discomfort. If your baby’s temperature climbs above 100.6°F, don’t panic—it’s likely just a mild virus or infection, easily treated with rest and fluids.  

Baby Sleep: Myths, Tricks & The Truth

There’s no one-size-fits-all sleep approach, but there are a few parenting tricks that can make bedtime smoother.  

✅ Side, Back, or Stomach?** Babies should **sleep on their backs** to lower the risk of SIDS, but side-sleeping can be a great transition after they doze off.  

✅ Noise is Okay! A completely silent environment creates a bad habit—instead, let your baby get used to normal household sounds while sleeping. Womb sounds, heartbeat noises, or gentle white noise help comfort babies without needing total silence.

💡 And the biggest myth? That you shouldn’t hold your baby to sleep.

Shut up, seriously. Holding your baby to sleep is bonding—it’s how they learn security, trust, and routine. I sang nursery rhymes (soft, repetitive tones) until my babies started nodding off. Then I’d place them on their side, put on the Mommy Mommybear womb sounds, and pat their little diaper butts until they were fully asleep.  

✅ The key to sleeping through the night is a routine:

🔹 Feed.  

🔹 Play.  

🔹 Bath (Johnson & Johnson’s Lavender Soap for extra relaxation).  

🔹 Read a short book.  

🔹 Snuggle.  

🔹 Singing & soothing.  

🔹 Bed.  

💡 This consistent bedtime routine helped my kids sleep through the night, and it made nighttime a peaceful ritual instead of a nightly battle.  

The Power of Maternal Instincts

Motherhood isn’t just about following parenting books—it’s about learning your baby’s unique cues and trusting your gut.  

Even when babies cry with no clear reason, parents start picking up on the little things—a certain cry for hunger, a fussy whimper for sleep, or an ear tug that means teething.  

Instead of overthinking, lean into your intuition—because chances are, you already know what to do.  

Conclusion

Parenting is equal parts patience and detective work, but you’re more prepared than you realize. Babies may not come with instructions, but they do leave clues, and every parent learns to decode them in their own way. So take a breath, trust yourself, and know that you're doing an incredible job.  

Enjoy a cup, 🫖

~Honey 

Disclaimer
The parenting advice shared on Tea With Honey comes from over 40 years of firsthand experience. However, I am not a licensed medical professional. For health-related concerns, including serious medical symptoms, always consult a qualified doctor or pediatrician.

Trusting Instincts: The Foundation of Healthy Baby Routines

Becoming a mom at 20 wasn’t the shock that people expected it to be—if anything, it felt like a natural continuation of the caregiving role I had played for years. From babysitting to helping my grandmother, watching over my disabled aunt, and even stepping in when my own mother fell ill, I had already navigated the world of nurturing long before I had a child of my own.  

So when my daughter was born, I didn’t look for parenting books, unsolicited advice, or a checklist of what I was “supposed” to do. I just **knew**. The structure she needed, the comfort she craved, the way she communicated—it all felt second nature.  

That didn’t mean the journey was without its challenges. My mother, ever the control freak, constantly tried to tell me how to raise my daughter. My husband? Hilariously clueless, but willing to learn (and, to his credit, became an incredible dad). And while the outside world expected me to struggle or feel overwhelmed, I never did.  

This confidence shaped the way I established healthy routines from the start—because parenting wasn’t about following someone else’s rulebook. It was about creating a rhythm that worked for us.  

Building a Rhythm: The Healthy Routines That Worked  

Since parenting felt natural to me, I didn’t overcomplicate things with excessive books, advice, or trendy methods. Instead, I followed my instincts and observed what worked for my daughter. The routines we established were built on consistency, comfort, and intuition—not rigid schedules, but predictable rhythms that kept her secure.  

Sleep: I wasn’t about the endless battles of sleep training. Instead, I focused on soothing signals—consistent bedtime cues, soft sounds, and a comforting presence. My daughter knew when it was time to sleep because we created a calm, predictable transition, not because I forced a schedule on her.  

Feeding: Whether breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, or transitioning to solids, I paid attention to her cues. She told me when she was hungry, and I **trusted her timing** rather than forcing a strict schedule. Routine developed naturally based on her needs.  

Daily Flow: Every day had its rhythm, but it wasn’t about the clock—it was about patterns. Morning meant wake-up cuddles, mid-day meant movement and engagement, and evenings meant slowing down. She thrived on predictable comfort, not rigid expectations.  

Through it all, I kept one key philosophy. Parenting wasn’t about control—it was about connection. My mom hated that I didn’t ask for advice. But I didn’t need to. I wasn’t overwhelmed, because I wasn’t trying to force motherhood into a mold. I let it unfold. And my daughter? She responded to it beautifully.  

Parenting Instincts: Trusting What You Know

One of the biggest lessons I learned early on? Trust your gut.

When my daughter was spitting up excessively and her bowel movements didn’t look right, I did what any parent would do—I voiced my concerns. But instead of a thoughtful discussion, I was met with condescension. A pediatrician who saw my age before he saw my capability, dismissing me with textbook explanations that assumed I was the problem, rather than acknowledging something might actually be wrong.  

But here’s the thing—I knew my baby. I knew she wasn’t just spitting up because of bad feeding habits, and I knew that this wasn’t “normal.” So, instead of blindly accepting a dismissive answer, I made the call myself: I switched her formula to soy. And just like that, the excessive spitting up stopped, and her bowel movements looked normal again.  

That moment shaped my parenting philosophy forever. I learned that experts aren’t always right, instincts aren’t just guesses, and most importantly—no one knows your baby better than you do.

Final Thoughts: Parenting by Instinct

Motherhood didn’t come with a manual—just instinct, experience, and a refusal to let anyone tell me what I should be doing. From the moment my daughter was born, I trusted what I knew, even when others doubted me.

And that’s the lesson I’ll always stand by: Experts don’t always get it right. Advice isn’t always necessary. And instincts? They’re worth listening to.

If I had ignored my gut, my daughter would have stayed sick longer than she needed to. But because I trusted what I knew—what I had learned from caregiving long before I became a mother—she thrived.

Parenting isn’t about proving yourself to the world. It’s about knowing your child, trusting yourself, and following what feels right—no matter who tries to tell you otherwise.

If you have a relatable story, I'd love to hear from you. 

Grab a cup, 🫖 & let's chat

~Honey