🤝 Sibling Rivalry and the Hand-Holding Hack

From swing disputes to teenage squabbles—sometimes you just need a grip on the situation.  

They say siblings are built-in best friends. I say they're also built-in sparring partners. Whether it’s a tug-of-war over a cookie or an all-out emotional showdown over the TV remote, the sibling dynamic is as unpredictable as a toddler’s taste buds.

In our house, I’ve learned that peace doesn’t come from perfect fairness—it comes from creative parenting. Exhibit A: the “hand-hold method.”

 👐 The Method That Works Like Magic

One day, in the middle of a loud, dramatic standoff between my kids about who touched the remote last (very serious business), I pulled out a wild card. I made them hold hands. Not just a quick grasp—I told them they couldn’t let go until they calmed down and talked it out themselves.

There were groans. There were limp fingers. There may have been a few theatrical sighs. But somewhere between the awkward grip and reluctant giggles, something shifted. They talked. They compromised. I sipped my coffee like a triumphant wizard.

And here’s the kicker—I did this even when they were teenagers. Yep. Full-fledged, sarcasm-wielding adolescents. I braced for rebellion... maybe a full-blown dissertation on personal boundaries. But instead? Compliance. Grudging, awkward, miraculous compliance.

They held hands. They talked. And the conflict evaporated, like magic (or maybe just solid parenting theater).

 🎬 Let’s Talk Movie Moments

To add some cinematic flair, here’s a clip from *Cheaper by the Dozen*—a film that gets the chaos of a big family just right. [Watch the scene here] 

You’ll see the humor, mess, and heart that mirrors what many of us navigate daily.

 💬 Lessons from the Front Lines

Creativity > Control: Rules don’t always win, but a little surprise can rewire a moment.

Teenagers will surprise you: Even in their sassiest phases, they’re still open to trust-based discipline.

Sibling rivalry is normal—but our responses can turn it into an opportunity for growth.

So next time your kids argue over who gets the blue cup or the front seat, try the hand-hold. Awkward? Yes. Effective? Shockingly so.

Because parenting isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up with love, resilience, and the occasional weird-but-wonderful solution.

🧠 What’s Your Sibling Showdown Strategy?

Sibling rivalry isn’t just a phase—it’s practically a family rite of passage. But every parent discovers their own trick, tactic, or touch of magic. So let’s swap stories:

• ☑️ The Hand-Hold Method – Awkwardly effective, emotionally brilliant
• ☑️ Distraction Dance Party – A groove to outmatch grumbles
• ☑️ Solve-It-Yourself Strategy – Hands-off parenting with a purpose
• ☑️ Your Own Genius Move – Add it to the comment section below!

✨ Reader Challenge of the Week: Try the hand-hold hack. Yes, even with your teens. Then come back and tell us:

• Did they giggle?
• Did they roll their eyes into next Tuesday?
• Did they actually work it out?

We’ll feature the most hilarious or heartfelt submissions in a future post right here on Tea With Honey. 💛

The Truth About Birth Order: Breaking the Myths in My Own Family

Everyone assumes the youngest child is reckless, spoiled, and irresponsible. It’s basically a universal truth—eldest kids are the responsible ones, middle kids are the forgotten ones, and youngest kids? We’re the chaos. Except… that’s not always *true*. 

If the stereotypes were right, I’d be a nightmare—irresponsible, entitled, constantly seeking attention. Instead, I’m *exactly* the opposite. I’m level-headed, easygoing, sharp as hell (even if some people underestimate me), and fiercely independent. So, where did the myth break down? And more importantly, how did I make sure my own kids weren’t boxed into these tired family roles?

Birth order might shape experiences, but it doesn’t *define* who we become. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that breaking the cycle starts with *seeing it for what it is*. 

 Breaking the Cycle: Raising My Kids Differently

If my childhood taught me anything, it’s that labels don’t just shape how people see you—they shape how they *fail* to see you. I was never reckless, never the disaster they assumed I’d be, but because I had ADD, I got slapped with every insulting label imaginable. *Stupid. Idiot. Remedial.* As if struggling to focus meant struggling to *think*.  

But here’s the thing—none of those labels were *true*, and none of them defined me. And I refused to carry that weight into my own parenting. Instead of assuming my kids were *preprogrammed* to fit some outdated birth order myth, I raised them based on how *I* wish I had been treated: with patience, with understanding, and with the freedom to be exactly who they are.  

In my house, there’s no “eldest must be responsible,” no “middle child is forgotten,” and definitely no “youngest is a chaos gremlin” (even though, let’s be real, *sometimes* they earn that title). My kids get to be *who they are*—not who the universe randomly decided they should be based on when they showed up.  

I see them. I *know* them. And more importantly, I *love* them for who they are—not for how they fit into some outdated idea of family roles.  

Funny how when you actually *pay attention* to who your kids *are* instead of relying on myths, they turn out pretty damn great. Who knew?  

And let me tell you—watching them grow into their own identities without carrying generational baggage? *That’s* a win that beats any match in Apex, no matter how satisfying that Kraber headshot was.  

Conclusion: The Truth About Birth Order

Here’s the thing—family roles aren’t destiny. Birth order isn’t a personality blueprint. And the labels slapped onto us as kids? They don’t define who we are.  

I wasn’t reckless. I wasn’t rebellious. And I sure as hell wasn’t stupid. But that didn’t stop people from treating me like I *was*.  

The truth is, myths are comfortable. They make people feel like they *understand* something—like they can predict behavior just because of when a kid was born. But comfort doesn’t make something *true*. And I refuse to let my children grow up under the weight of assumptions that have nothing to do with *who they actually are*.  

So if you’re still clinging to the idea that birth order determines character, think about this—did you *choose* who you became, or did someone else decide it for you?  

Because my kids? They get to decide. And let me tell you—watching them grow into the incredible, self-assured, *authentic* people they are today fills me with more pride than I can put into words. They aren’t weighed down by myths or expectations. They know who they are, and they own it fully.  

And that’s a truth no myth can argue with.  

But here’s the real question—what labels were put on *you* growing up, and how did they shape the person you are today?  

Grab a cup 🫖 and let's talk. 

~Honey

Parenting Myths Debunked: Lies, Legends, and the “I Told You So” Moments

 

Ah, parenting advice—it comes at you like a relentless infomercial. Friends, family, that one mom at the playground who swears by kale smoothies for infant genius development. Some of these tips are gold, others... not so much. Let’s spill the tea on these classic parenting myths and set the record straight—grandparent style.  

1. “Holding Your Baby Too Much Will Spoil Them”

- Oh yes, because babies should obviously enter the world fully independent, pay rent, and file taxes by age two. Holding your baby doesn’t spoil them—it comforts them, builds trust, and keeps them from screaming like a tiny, angry CEO demanding better management.  

2. “Sugar Turns Kids Into Maniacs”

- Listen, kids don’t need sugar to turn into pint-sized tornadoes. Have you ever seen a toddler who’s been awake too long? Unstoppable force. Unhinged energy. Sugar doesn’t fuel chaos—kids do. Science backs this up, but honestly, so does common sense.  

3. “Letting Kids Win Makes Them Weak”

- Ah yes, because we need to toughen them up for the brutal world of board games and backyard races. Reality check: confidence matters. Letting them win sometimes teaches them to enjoy learning, build resilience, and maybe, just maybe, not flip the Monopoly board when things don’t go their way.  

4. “The ‘Terrible Twos’ Are the Worst”

- Terrible twos? Honey, the threenager stage is where the real chaos begins. That’s when they develop opinions, negotiate like tiny lawyers, and use the word “no” with the confidence of a CEO rejecting bad deals. But truthfully, this phase isn’t about them being terrible—it’s about independence, growth, and pushing buttons *just because they can*.  

5. “If It Worked Back Then, It Works Now”

- Ah, the golden “back in my day” defense. Yes, some wisdom stands the test of time—but let’s be real, so does bad advice. Car seats weren’t a thing, sunscreen was optional, and "just walk it off" applied to everything. Parenting evolves for a reason, and sometimes, old-school methods get upgraded.  

Final Sip of Wisdom: 

Parenting myths are like unsolicited advice—you don’t need all of them, but sometimes they make for great stories. At the end of the day, trust your instincts, keep your humor intact, and remember—no one actually has it all figured out.  

And here’s the real secret ingredient: *parenting is a lot easier when you remember what it felt like to be a child.* That frustration when adults didn’t listen? The excitement of discovery? The need for reassurance? The more you tap into your own childhood emotions, the more your gut instinct will guide you toward raising kids who feel seen, heard, and understood.  

What Parenting Myths Have You Heard? 

Now, I want to hear from you! What’s the wildest parenting myth you’ve come across? Have a family legend, questionable piece of advice, or a story about an old wives’ tale gone wrong?  

Send it my way at havingteawithhoney@gmail.com —let’s spill the tea together! Who knows, your submission might just make it into the next post.  

Want to stay anonymous? No problem! Just let me know in your email, and I’ll keep your name out of it. The stories are what matter most, not who tells them.  

Enjoy a cup 🫖,

Honey